There was once a little boy called Nick that wanted to help everyone in order to save money for the new automatic toy review.

  After a few months of research, he had finally discovered that there was going to be a big storm and the whole town was going flood. He decided that today is the day he gets the automatic toy reviewer. After a few minutes he drove his automatic train car which has many buttons outside; it was just right for the flood began to flow all around the town.

  The news reporter station was just about to report the news when suddenly a strange noise came from just around the corner, what was it? Was it an automatic train to save them; that was in it? And what harm could it to themselves. They stood still until always the sound came bigger and louder every second the time passes; at last the automatic train car appeared and in sat a little boy who was Nick.

  Everybody knew that Nick couldn’t harm them with the train car, but it was true; Nick was not going to harm but instead is going to save the whole town, everybody began to cheer. Some of the townspeople even came near to help Nick; for they didn’t want to be drowned either.

  When the flood was gone, the storm stopped, and the townspeople were all saved. They thanked Nick. But Nick still didn’t see any people giving him money as a “thank you.” All they did was telling the news reporter and reported Nick on the news. Everybody enjoyed it except Nick, for what he wanted was the automatic toy reviewer.

  After the news was finished they ran to Nick’s house, Nick didn’t want to answer fro he thought of what they were going to say. It was already dawn which was almost time for watching TV. Everybody begged Nick to let them in. Nick decided just for this once.

  When he opened the door he found people standing outside the door with purses in their pockets and smiles on their faces. Nick knew that they were not here to give him money to but eh automatic toy reviewer; but it wasn’t true, what the people did was to hand out their personal purses to Nick. Nick knew at once that he barked up the wrong tree about the townspeople; all he really wanted to the automatic toy reviewer; he received their purses and at last bought the automatic toy reviewer. That train car which Nick drove out to save the other people; this was his only one invention.

修改后：

There was once a little boy called Nick that wanted to help everyone in order to save money for the new automatic toy review.

  After a few months of research, he had finally discovered that there was going to be a big storm and the whole town would suffer from the flood. He decided that day was the day he got the automatic toy reviewer. A few minutes later, he drove his automatic train car which has many buttons outside. It was just right before the flood began to flow all around the town.

  The news agency was just about to report the news when a strange noise suddenly came from just around the corner, what was it? Was it an automatic train to save them; what was in it? And what harm could it do to themselves. They stood still until  the sound became bigger and louder every second the time passed; at last the automatic train car appeared and in sat a little boy who was Nick.

  Everybody knew that Nick couldn’t harm them with the train car, but it was true; Nick was not going to harm but was going to save the whole town instead. Everybody began to cheer. Some of the townspeople even came near to help Nick, for they didn’t want to be drowned either.

  When the flood was gone, the storm stopped, and the townspeople were all saved. They thanked Nick. But Nick still didn’t see any people giving him money as a “thank you.” All they did was telling the news reporter and reported Nick on the news. Everybody enjoyed it except Nick, for what he wanted was the automatic toy reviewer.

  After the news, they ran to Nick’s house, Nick didn’t want to answer them. It was already dawn which was almost time for watching TV. Everybody begged Nick to let them in. Nick decided to give them a chance.

  When he opened the door he found people standing outside the door with purses in their pockets and smiles on their faces. Nick knew that they were not here to give him money to buy the automatic toy reviewer; but it wasn’t true, what the people did was to hand out their personal purses to Nick. Nick knew at once that he barked up the wrong tree about the townspeople. All he really wanted was the automatic toy reviewer; he received their purses and at last bought the automatic toy reviewer. That train car which Nick drove out to save the other people was his only invention.

    四年级:欧阳雨鹭